... and it sort of just got out of hand...

OMG! I wish I can tell and ask for an opinion but I'm afraid of someone finding out what I want to be kept under wraps.

I wish my close friends are not busy doing assignments right now T.T

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Im in sort of a big mess right now cause I am so god damn confused!!!

What should I do???

OMG I'm hating games..

Actually... why the hell should I confuse myself when I feel perfectly fine?
Oh right.. other people... fuck.

I'm never teasing someone again. Actually, people shouldn't tease when they have no idea what is actually going on..

Scrape that.. Psychology students should stop experimenting on people for fun.

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If my some of classmates didn't say anything, I would've been fine now, being able to accomplish what I need to do with ease but now, I'm feeling things that I am rather unprepared to feel and being home alone doesn't help at all. I don't like the thoughts running through my head.

Why should did they decide to tease me?
Why did they have to say that?
Why won't they apply "not making things more awkward than it is right now" to me too?

Thanks to them, I'm being very aware of what might be happening to me and I don't know what I should do, how I should feel and I am totally lost on how to stop it.

OMG! I hate pretending that everything's fine.

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listening to: The Climb - Miley Cyrus

I hate waiting but that is life.

Waiting for the unknown sucks.

Btw, she forgot this year. I'm a bit disappointed cause she usually remembers but it's been a rough year for her.

I guess I should do other things while I'm waiting. After all, it is beyond my control.

I have to continue having fun since there's nothing I can do.

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I think this blog has a pattern. A negative pattern. I only update this one when I'm feeling low. Sometimes a little too low and there's no one I can talk to whom I think will understand. I am keeping the bad stuff away, trying to appear as happy as I can around people but sometimes I just don't understand why whomever that is controlling fate or whatever stupid dumb coincidences somewhere loves to put me in situations which will make me feel really really really bad about everything.

I'm starting to realise that there is quite a big amount of truth in the sentence "the strongest is most likely the loneliest of all". I was once told quite requently in a week that I'm a strong girl and I'll pull through but sometimes its just so damn annoying that I'm always stuck with people who gets things easily in life. WHY? I know that there's always a silverlining to every dark cloud but I can't seem to just find mine.

No doubt I am grateful that I can still do what I want but till when will this last? I don't like the situation I am in right now and I don't know how to change it nor do I think I am able to change it like fast.

Tho, I'm going to pray a little harder, bet a little more and we'll see if I will get a miracle. After all, almost everything is at stake and I think I'm going to have to resort to the extremes this time.

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I kind of forgot the existance of this blog but there will be nothing to update here for sometime anyway though I was a little wrong.

I don't know if I'm overreacting, too stressed up, PMS-ing or just worrying too much.

I'm wanting to be lost in a while. Just go away, not think of so many things, not analysing certain things and not giving a damn about anything.

How I wish I'm the one going to UK and Barcelona in 10 days with a friend.

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